I went out last Sunday night. Why should I care I hear you ask. Well you see, for me to go out, takes an awful lot these days. Mostly because money is so bloomin' tight that I literally cannot afford to get in the mouldies in a pub or club. So I made myself look even sexier than I usually do and I headed into town to meet my friends. It was actually a pretty crap night. We went to a few different pubs and all that was there were middle aged men with beer guts. Like EVERYWHERE. Suppose we should have gone out on St. Stephens Night but we were all just exhausted and stuffed with food.
We ended up in a "gay friendly" bar. I have been there once or twice before and never really enjoyed it. But these days it's the place to go for all. There usually is more straight people there than gay's but what the hey off we went. The girls I was with ordered a bottle of presecco and we succeeded to down that between us all fairly rapidly. Just before I was finished mine I got a text from another friend asking me where I was as I hadn't seen him in ages and said we'd meet for a scoop that night.
I went to the bar and ordered another bottle of presecco and as I was waiting for the bar man to bring me the bottle my friend (who texted a few moments earlier) was standing beside me and chatting away. So we were having the well like. Chatting away goodo. So I said I better get back with the drink or I'd be murdered like and I'd bump into him later. And with that, I felt a hand on my ass. Now a hand on my ass is fine. I have no problem with it normally. BUT this hand was not placed on the outside of my jeans. Oh no. It was inside my jeans! So I was like squirming trying to get his hand out of my jeans and trying to not drop this bottle of presecco. He goes "Wha?" And he acting all innocent. So I said "Stop it now. You're embarrassing me". See it wasn't as if the bar was a dark and dingy one. Far from it. It was bright as daylight in there so all could see. Scarleh wasn't the word.
I went back to the table and told the gang about my being mauled at the bar. Sure they thought it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. The fuckers.
After a while, a fella came up to one of my friends and started talking to her. He was bending down to her so hadn't a clue who he was. I was fairly well oiled at this stage so I was kinda not noticing things as much as you do when your sober. After probably ten minutes I noticed a hand outstretched in front of my face......followed the hand up the arm, across the shoulder and to the face. Sure it was only my friends ex who we had first met in Dingle during the summer. Now talk about a hottie. We were mad about him then and I had a few suspicions but said nothing. So I got a big handshake and nobody else did. Then another friend procedded to put out her hand for an aul shake from the hot guy. Well what ensued after that was possibly the most mortifying thing that I have done whilst drunk in many years.
Myself and the other friend who got both our hands shaken by the hot ex of our other friend started to giggle and whisper about how he looked even hotter than he did in the summer and here he was in a gay bar. THEN my friend goes to me, "He touched me more when he shook my hand". To which I kinda shouted "He did not. He gave me a double handshake". This went on for the rest of the time that the hot guy was standing there talking to his ex and it also continued on for the rest of the night.
Now if this wasn't embarrassing enough, see he may have just thought we were on about something else, his ex went and told him what we were saying. Well if the ground didn't open up and swallow me it never would. Talk about morto.
On the upside, he just accepted my friend request on Facebook. Watch this space....
BTW I don't particulary like New Years time of year. I find it blasé and uber depressing so I tend to just ignore it but...Happy New Year folks! All the best for 2010!
We ended up in a "gay friendly" bar. I have been there once or twice before and never really enjoyed it. But these days it's the place to go for all. There usually is more straight people there than gay's but what the hey off we went. The girls I was with ordered a bottle of presecco and we succeeded to down that between us all fairly rapidly. Just before I was finished mine I got a text from another friend asking me where I was as I hadn't seen him in ages and said we'd meet for a scoop that night.
I went to the bar and ordered another bottle of presecco and as I was waiting for the bar man to bring me the bottle my friend (who texted a few moments earlier) was standing beside me and chatting away. So we were having the well like. Chatting away goodo. So I said I better get back with the drink or I'd be murdered like and I'd bump into him later. And with that, I felt a hand on my ass. Now a hand on my ass is fine. I have no problem with it normally. BUT this hand was not placed on the outside of my jeans. Oh no. It was inside my jeans! So I was like squirming trying to get his hand out of my jeans and trying to not drop this bottle of presecco. He goes "Wha?" And he acting all innocent. So I said "Stop it now. You're embarrassing me". See it wasn't as if the bar was a dark and dingy one. Far from it. It was bright as daylight in there so all could see. Scarleh wasn't the word.
I went back to the table and told the gang about my being mauled at the bar. Sure they thought it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. The fuckers.
After a while, a fella came up to one of my friends and started talking to her. He was bending down to her so hadn't a clue who he was. I was fairly well oiled at this stage so I was kinda not noticing things as much as you do when your sober. After probably ten minutes I noticed a hand outstretched in front of my face......followed the hand up the arm, across the shoulder and to the face. Sure it was only my friends ex who we had first met in Dingle during the summer. Now talk about a hottie. We were mad about him then and I had a few suspicions but said nothing. So I got a big handshake and nobody else did. Then another friend procedded to put out her hand for an aul shake from the hot guy. Well what ensued after that was possibly the most mortifying thing that I have done whilst drunk in many years.
Myself and the other friend who got both our hands shaken by the hot ex of our other friend started to giggle and whisper about how he looked even hotter than he did in the summer and here he was in a gay bar. THEN my friend goes to me, "He touched me more when he shook my hand". To which I kinda shouted "He did not. He gave me a double handshake". This went on for the rest of the time that the hot guy was standing there talking to his ex and it also continued on for the rest of the night.
Now if this wasn't embarrassing enough, see he may have just thought we were on about something else, his ex went and told him what we were saying. Well if the ground didn't open up and swallow me it never would. Talk about morto.
On the upside, he just accepted my friend request on Facebook. Watch this space....
BTW I don't particulary like New Years time of year. I find it blasé and uber depressing so I tend to just ignore it but...Happy New Year folks! All the best for 2010!
2 comments:
OMG Mo!
Ah shur twas great. Ya know urself!
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